Since becoming a parent I feel so much deeper than I ever did before. When i experience hurt and pain directly i realize now that it never hurts in comparison to the hurt i feel when my sons feel hurt. I guess sometimes it feels as if my heart has grown much bigger and has been transplanted into their bodies...as strange as that sounds.

If you want your child to walk the righteous path, do not merely point the way – lead the way.
J.A Rosenkranz

Tread Lightly

I have to kneel before the Father, put my ear against his chest and listen, without interruption to the heartbeat of God. Then, and only then, can I say carefully and very gently what I hear. -Henri Nouwen

I'm going to tread lightly today. I'm going to focus on my breathe and listen to what I'm meant to hear. I have so many questions and I am going to put them all away even for the day. I am going to leave the mysteries for another day. I am going to sell myself on self preservation. What do I need to hear?

today, I'm thankful

I'm thankful today for david's tea. I bought a new flavor and my taste buds are doing the tango.

I'm thankful that I kept my agenda low key this weekend. I really needed to relax and savor my time off. I recognized that and I'm proud of myself for that.

I'm thankful for the new potted "tree" in my living room, it breathes new life into my space.

I'm thankful for my blog. I can trace some of my growth from reading my posts. It is a historical story line that reassures me and comforts.

I'm thankful for encouraging words from friends. I'm also thankful for the silence. Both silence and powerful words are equally vital.

I'm thankful for having my own apartment. I am free to dream, recharge, refocus, renew and to feel safe.

I'm thankful for my courage and faith.

Take Time to Take a Cleansing Breathe

Schedule time for yourself. It is very important to believe in self preservation. Life can knock us off of our feet. Sometimes we don't even realize how drained we are until it is well past the time when we should have nurtured ourselves. We need to really believe how essential it is to relax our bodies and restore our minds.

My mind races and tries to figure out what the next day will bring and even the next year. So many mysteries in life and I set out to solve them all. I want to know how my life will play out. I need to know things will get better. I search for answers, I question the path I'm on. and then i remember...For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace. - I Corinthians 14:13
and I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:13

I need to let go of trying to knowwhat will happen tomorrow. I can't control everything. I have to accept that I don't know what tomorrow will look and feel like. I have to have faith. I must take care of myself so that I have strength for tomorrow.

I have taken the time to get to know myself over the past few months. I have made this my priority. I took some time for myself. I know now what relaxes me. I listen to how my mind and body respondes to what I introduce. I am enjoying this journey.

So often we treat ourselves in such an unhealthy way that if we heard that a friend was being treated in such a way by another we would ask, "How do you stand to be treated that way?" "Don't put up with that!" Tell yourself that you will no longer listen to that mean fre-enemy in your mind who is telling you lies. The lies such as, "You don't matter." "Who cares about you and your dumb dreams!?" "Who are you to take time for yourself, don't be so lazy!" "You will never amount to anything!" "You are a fake, wait until people find out that you a nothing but an unpopular-unimportant-uncool-boring-loser." Those are lies.

Each time you hear those lies in your mind, stop and replace these with kind, gentle words of affirmation. Tell yourself that you are valuable, worthy, loved and essential. I remember to forgive myself for mistakes and remind myself that mistakes are valuable methods of learning. I remind myself of what I learned lately; it is empowering to be reminded.

"I am thankful and content today." [Psalm 136:1; Philippians 4:6,7,11]

“God gives me power when I am worn out and strength when I am weak.” [Isaiah 40:29]

So, this is pretty comforting stuff. These affirmations may work for you or you may find ones that are more fitting for you and your circumstances. Learn about what comforts you. Take time for yourself. It is not a question of finding time. Make time for yourself. We all have 24 hours in a day. We can take away what is unnecessary and take time for what is necessary; relaxation. Turn off the TV, turn off the laptop. Do what really matters, you will see the difference very soon.

"To every thing there is a season,
and time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

What I believe Today

I believe that people shouldn't feel bad about learning the hard way, that kind of learning usually leaves the most lasting impression.

I firmly believe that all the times in my life when I felt inner strength it was because of preparation.
(aware + prepare + prayer = strength)

I've heard that life gives the test and then gives the lesson. I've believe this too. I also believe that we can be prepared (learn the lesson) and then we will feel ready for the tests that present themselves to us

I believe balance is very important in my life. I may want to be a sloth all day on my days off, however I know that slicing my day up like a pie, giving each important segment a portion of my valuable time.

I used to tell myself that I would do what I feared to do when I gained confidence. Then it hit me, once I did began to do what had held me in fear, I gained confidence.

I don't try to figure it all out. As long as I am living with courage and moving towards being the person I want to be I don't have to be able to see around the corner.

I can't complain, contemptate, hesitate, be late any longer.....

I will write down my intentions and stay focused. Preparation is the key to facing my fears.

Follow Your Heart?

I've been thinking a lot about the phrase "follow your heart" I don't believe in following my heart. I feel more secure about making decisions based on facts rather than feelings. Your heart can lead you astray. I used to believe in following my heart until I realized that I've made too many choices that caused me heartache and confusion.

I am somewhat sentimental. I love deeply. I get hurt a lot because I allow for vulnerability in my life. I believe we need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable to love fully and deeply. I have learned from my past as I used to allow myself to give my whole self without thinking of the consequences of my heart leading the way.

I am empathetic, compassionate and giving by nature. I am learning to look at a situation and look at the pluses and the minuses. I am tightening the grip on my heart and reining it in. I feel the need to be able to think long term rather than going with my immediate gut feeling.

to be continued..... :)

What is your motivation?

What is your motivation today?


People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
-- Zig Ziglar

I was exchanging views on motivation and success with a friend. I told her that we should ask ourselves, "What is my motivation for getting out of bed this morning"? as oppossed to thinking "positive thoughts' or dreading the possibilities of what the day may bring.

Motivation is as individual as you are. Whatever it is that motivates you is the spark that lights your fire. What is it that gets your heart pumping?

We have to realize what our values are. If you aren't motivated by high sales and a chunky pay cheque then being the salesperson of the week isn't going to get you fired up. Are you motivated by reaching out to others to inspire and lead by courage? Your career path may lead you into the career of supporting others.

I am motivated by daily goals and long term goals. My daily goals are little golden nuggets to entice me to get my day started. My long term goals and aspirations give me a firm motivational kick that really propels me. I know that if I'm just looking at my daily motivations it can only take me so far. The daily motivation reminds me of the horse that sees the carrot dangling in front of it. The long term motivation pushes me further when the carrot in my field of vision becomes too repetitive.

My motivation comes from confidence in the aspects of my life that I can't quite see yet. I believe this is called faith. I may not be able to see the pot 'o gold just yet, however I believe it will appear when I am ready for it. Faith takes practice, it is like a muscle that strengthens when we exercise it.

I believe that we should get our confidence from within ourselves. When we seek approval from others it lets us feel off balance and our belief in ourselves are swayed by the opinions of others. If we are to truly believe the positive things people say about us wouldn't we also believe the negative? I don't indend this to mean that we disregard everything that is said about us by others. I mean that what others say about us should be viewed with our own true reality of ourselves. We can hear an opinion of ourself from another person and we can distinguish whether it is truth or fiction. I don't believe it is healthy to attach every little opinion from every person onto ourselves. We have the right to disregard what we feel is untrue. Our confidence can motivate us to accomplish what we envision for our life.

Write down your what your goals are. Put in down in writing what your long term and short term goals are. Hold yourself accountable for following through on your goals. Assess and reasses your goals daily, weekly, monthly and yearly. Are your goals reasonable? Are your goals feasable considering all the obligations in your life? Are you having fun while achieving your goals?

I believe that prayer is what centers me when my goals leave me near sighted. Prayer helps my vision when I can't see beyond the next step in my journey. Prayer reminds me that I'm not alone.

The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg, and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.
-- James Allen

a new chapter

I'm going to start blogging again. I felt lonely without my written words. I have carved out a space. I have a tiny room to let out all the words that I kept imprisoned inside me. I felt my words were too silly, uninspiring, bashful, not poignant enough. I didn't just hush that inner negative nagging critic, I set off some dynamite! Boom! Let positive reign.....

I will commit myself to writing on my blog once few days. I'm just getting my toes wet again. It feels like a form of therapy to release emotions through my words.

I am proud of myself that I was able to have the courage to write again. Yes, it took courage because I feel that I am baring a part of me, the vulnerable piece of me that I naturally want to suppress.

Stay tuned for more

Rules for Being Human

Rules For Being Human
You will receive a body.
You may like it or hate it,
but it's yours to keep
for the entire period.

You will learn lessons.
You are enrolled in a full-time,
informal school called life.

There are no mistakes, only lessons.
Growth is a process of trial, error
and experimentation.


The "failed" experiments are as much
a part of the process as the experiments
that ultimately "work".

Lessons are repeated until they are learned.
A lesson will be presented to you in various forms
until you have learned it.
When you have learned it,
you can go on to the next lesson.

Learning lessons does not end.
There is no part of life that doesn't
contain it's lessons.
If you're alive,
there are still lessons to be learned.

"There" is no better than "here".
When your "there" has become "here",
you will simply obtain another "there"
that will again look better than "here".

Other people are merely mirrors of you.
You can not love or hate something
about another person unless it reflects to you
something you love or hate about yourself.

What you make of your life is up to you.
You have all the tools and resources you need.
What you do with them is up to you.

The choice is yours.

by Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott

Brent

Dear Brent:

You are growing up so fast. When you turned twelve on September 26th, I felt as if those twelve years were just like a dream. You are on the cusp of being a teen. I want to let you know my hopes and dreams for you. I love you Brent, as each day passes my love for you grows stronger. I am proud of you, just as you are. I accept you as you are, my beloved son.

I wish for you a life of spiritual abundance. I wish for you to pay attention to your dreams. Your dreams deserve your attention. Believe in yourself. I wish for you to know that even though today may not be ideal you will climb to incredible heights. Don't give up on yourself.

I see you with a sad face and your eyes look far away, sometimes it seems you are unreachable. I know you have seen and heard things that have broken your heart. I know your sensitive heart has felt sadness and worry beyond your years. Take courage, Brent. You may feel that I have not done enough to make your path easier. Sometimes my hands are tied, my pleas for help for you fall to deaf ears.

You have lost your innocence by watching your father and I go through a very difficult divorce. I pray to God that your will have strength and courage. Life isn't always fair and just. I pray that your struggles will produce a man who has incredible compassion, empathy and love for yourself and others. I believe this will happen to you.

I believe in you.

Who Lied to You?

Who pursuaded your heart to let go of it's dreams?
Who tempted you into a world of trudging along
without aspirations. You then began to believe that your life
didn't really matter.

Who laughed in your face when you shared your passions?
You let your dreams die at your feet. No memorials, no tributes, no rememberance. Your dreams died and a part of you went a long with your dreams. Buried on a cold, dark night. You held your blanket to your chin, your pillow wet with your tears. You buried your dreams as you took refuge in your bed, you bid them farewell.

Who shamed you into believing you are worthless, a disgrace and of no value?
And now you walk with your head slung low, your eyes not daring to look to the wonders of a new horizon. Who snatched away your joy?

I'm telling you now that those are lies that were shoved into your heart. Start the escavation today and dig those lies out. Let your heart let go of the lies that have been buried and then grew larger each and every day.

I'm telling you to write down a new set of beliefs for yourself based on love, compassion and empathy. I'm telling you to write a brand new page. Today you write the words for the screen play starring You. Today, you cast the players in your life. Today, you are the director, author, the producer.

God didn't make a mistake when you were brought into this world. You are a miracle, you are a blessing.

Altruism....Be Blessed and Give Blessings

When we focus on the negativity in the world, we are not able to take a pro-active stance. Let your eyes open to the goodness that exists in the world. There is peace that exists when we choose it. Be inspired, be uplifted, be blessed and be grateful!


Soulumination
http://soulumination.org/home.html


"Soulumination, founded by Lynette Huffman Johnson, celebrates the lives of children facing life threatening illnesses by providing professional photographs—free of charge—of these children and their families. The life-affirming photographs of Soulumination are an enduring, positive record of the child’s brief life. Current efforts center on continuing to provide services to the families requesting our services and supporting exhibits of the Soulumination Collection."


International Volunteer Day

International Volunteer Day is December 5th. This day is held and celebrated to honor those who spend volunteer hours and efforts across the world.


The official website of IVD is World Volunteer Web: http://www.worldvolunteerweb.org


Peacejam
http://www.peacejam.org/

Thi website is a gathering place for an international education program built around leading Nobel Peace Laureates who work personally with youth to pass on the spirit, skills, and wisdom they embody.

The Online Volunteering website tells many stories of how volunteering has impacted the lives of many in a positive way both for the volunteers and the ones who are being lifted up
http://www.onlinevolunteering.org


Oneworld
www.oneworld.ca is a great central website location for getting involved, education or receiving positive energy about the growth that is being done.


I found a website that is both peaceful and serene.

You light a 'virtual' candle in memory of someone, as a gesture of gratitude or hope.
You simply click on begin and click on an unlit candle and follow the directions.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng


How You Can Change the World
An altruistic website on changing the world.

http://www.howyoucanchangetheworld.com/alt.htm